A Perfectly Hot Human Mess

I haven’t gotten out of bed today. And that’s ok! Yesterday my emotions bounced from angry to mad to defensive and protective to sad, to feeling controlled, then loved by Jaden (his hugs were intentional and supportive) and heard by Tom. Then I bounced back into anger and victimhood, and it was all ok! I wrote a letter to God yesterday morning. It’s something I do almost every day. He listened. He knows what’s happening and He is ok with my human experiences of having strong emotions. I asked Christ for assistance in experiencing peace. His peace. The kind that [...]

A Perfectly Hot Human Mess2022-08-29T16:31:41-06:00

Staying Out of God’s Way

I found this on my notes app. I don't remember writing it. But it struck a chord with me today. What do you do when you feel like there is nothing you can do? Pray, lean into surrender, and breathe. If I stay calm the answer will come. If I'm busy doing just so I can say I did something, I may be in God's way. What do you do when there is something you can do and it’s terrifying? Pray for power. Take a deep breath and walk forward with God's hand in yours to steady you. You can’t [...]

Staying Out of God’s Way2022-08-29T16:33:36-06:00

Not Wrong Just Different

Not Wrong, Just Different By Ann Ferguson Do you ever get frustrated when you are on a quest to learn and use the universal laws of thought to co-create a magnificent life, and your nearest and dearest aren’t interested in knowing what you are doing? Me too! I have had to rely on the skill of honoring others and their timing when I experience this frustration because if not, I will spin into negative places and behave in ways that are not productive. There is a universal law called The Law of Gestation. It states that there is a time appointed [...]

Not Wrong Just Different2022-08-25T08:22:32-06:00

Are You Attached To Your Struggle?

Are You Attached To Your Struggle? by Ann Ferguson When I was a child, I asked my Mom questions.  I didn’t ask usual questions typical of a three-year-old. I asked the kind of questions that even adults don’t quite have the answer to. I have a memory of asking my Mom one morning, “How high is up?” I didn’t have a lot of understanding of the world or how it operated, so it was difficult for my mom to give me an answer that would make sense.  I remember her taking a long time to answer.  After a while, she just [...]

Are You Attached To Your Struggle?2022-08-25T15:47:56-06:00

The Master’s Arms

I felt this last night. I felt held in the Master’s arms. Earlier in the evening fear started to creep in. I read something and immediately started to project what all this means. What life looks like in 6 months or a year a year from now. It was all negative. It was like a tentacle reached out of the screen and was trying to grab my heart in order to suck me deep into the vibration of panic and despair. I not only put my phone down, I placed it screen down. It helped but it was not enough. [...]

The Master’s Arms2022-08-29T16:45:29-06:00

Vulnerability in Connection

Joy comes from connection. Connection to self. Connection to God. Connection to others. Connection comes from vulnerability. As a child I learned the rules to keep safe in a dysfunctional family system. Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel, don’t share. In me these rules bred disconnection, pain, anxiety, fear, isolation, and numbness. Not joy. In those days I defined happiness as an absence of turmoil. I had no idea it was an actual emotion that could be felt and enjoyed. As a young adult I learned that these family rules were destructive to my wellbeing. It was terrifying and so [...]

Vulnerability in Connection2022-08-29T16:19:52-06:00

See It

My son just jackrabbited his wallet that he thought he lost up in Wyoming last weekend. (If you don’t understand what “jackrabbited” means read The Jackrabbit Factor by Leslie Householder.) Last weekend we drove from St George, Utah to Star Valley, Wyoming for a family funeral. Saturday evening, we drove back from Star Valley, Wyoming to Orem, Utah and stayed the night there. Sunday morning as we were leaving to head home, I asked my son if wanted to drive. He had a panicked/guilty/ embarrassed look on his face. He said he could not find his wallet. It has his [...]

See It2022-08-29T16:40:39-06:00

What Do You Want?

I didn’t want to go to the gym today. I really didn’t. It wasn’t because I was sore or sick or anything. I just didn’t wanna. I felt MEH. Sometimes when I feel this way don’t go. But today was different. When I contemplated my morning without the gym It felt weird. I took a deep breath. Counted down, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 .... and I booked the workout. I have found that counting down helps. It’s like blasting off. I think I heard that trick from a TED Talk or something. Anyway, I went. It wasn’t a great [...]

What Do You Want?2022-08-29T17:04:48-06:00

Rhythm of Creation

Rhythm of Creation by Ann Ferguson Push until you can’t, rest until you can.   Those are the rules for the new online exercise program I started a few weeks ago.  This is a totally new way and rhythm of exercising for me.  Honestly I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. When I take a class at the gym, I push and push and push. I don’t like being the weakest in the room. I was a professional ballerina when I was younger. I know how to make myself push just a little harder. I lean in, breathe deep, [...]

Rhythm of Creation2022-08-25T09:00:56-06:00

Stretchy Growth

I spent a few hours today doing a Rewiring for Empowerment exercise. It’s very similar to the Reframing the Past exercise I teach in Joyful Heart Training. I’m in stretchy growth right now. It is good growth. But, just like a seed must crack through its outer shell in order to grow, I discovered that to move forward into my deepest desires I needed to crack through some things too. I was explaining to a friend what surfaced. She was in my life at the time of the original trauma some 30 years ago. She was worried about the emotional [...]

Stretchy Growth2022-08-29T16:48:19-06:00


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