Every morning last week I created Joyful experiences. Years ago it I didn’t know I could create joyful moments. I believed that Joy just happens when you have trudged through enough trials with patience and faith. Not so! I get to choose joy. This is how I did it. I got out of bed at 7:00 and walked. Day 1 - I didn’t want to and I kinda had to kick myself in the butt to get out of bed. I did 1.75 miles. Day 2 - I didn’t WANT to either, but my day was better over all on [...]
Tom’s work requires him to travel a lot! He will be gone for weeks at a time. Then home for a few days and off again. This past trip he has been gone for 3 weeks. These have been some of the most difficult weeks I have passed through in a while. Sometimes when he is gone, and things have been rough, I get locked down into survival mode and rely on myself to make it through. What happens is I push him out of my inner world. He can’t be here and so my heart locks down. It’s [...]
I’ve never written about this journey. Someone just asked me if I have. So, I wrote. It’s still unedited but… I’m about to board a plane to DC and don’t have time to edit before I have to go to airplane mode. So here it is. There’s much more to the story. I’m really excited to continue. As I write I get to see God’s hand in my life again. He is so good! I am so grateful. 2016 The Lump My doctor was concerned about the lump I found under the seat belt bruise. I had been in [...]
There is a scale to gage how big of an emotional storm you are in. 0- You’re awesome and want to be awesome. 1- You’re off but don’t know why 2- You start to recognize a the beginning of a spin, but can quickly push it down. 3 - You’re able to name the emotions. I’m stressed, I’m overwhelmed, I’m anxious. Etc. 4 - You start to try to discharge the emotion. Usually by blaming, (yourself or others). Talk about what has happened with a friend. You find the chocolate to numb out on or you engage in some type [...]
This is a dream I had in 2011 that I'm including in my book. I wrote it down in 2018. I'm so excited that I found it! I saw myself as a child kneeling on the floor about 5 feet from where I was watching. The space around my child self was completely void of light except for the light that was emanating from within her. This light illuminated a present on the floor in front of her. She was just about to unwrap the gift. Throughout the dream, all of the emotions that welled up in her welled [...]
I’m doing a big thing today. It feels unfamiliar. The growth is stretching me. Looking into the future is both exciting and uncomfortable. I’ve never occupied the space I’m stepping into. The summer before my granddaughter went to preschool, she kept telling me “I’m not really big” and she liked to play like she was a baby. One day she said to me “I’m a little afraid”. I asked her why she was afraid. She was worried about making friends at school. She had never been to school. It was unfamiliar. She was great, and still is, at making [...]
Are You Attached To Your Struggle? by Ann Ferguson When I was a child, I asked my Mom questions. I didn’t ask usual questions typical of a three-year-old. I asked the kind of questions that even adults don’t quite have the answer to. I have a memory of asking my Mom one morning, “How high is up?” I didn’t have a lot of understanding of the world or how it operated, so it was difficult for my mom to give me an answer that would make sense. I remember her taking a long time to answer. After a while, she just [...]
Rhythm of Creation by Ann Ferguson Push until you can’t, rest until you can. Those are the rules for the new online exercise program I started a few weeks ago. This is a totally new way and rhythm of exercising for me. Honestly I’m having a hard time wrapping my brain around it. When I take a class at the gym, I push and push and push. I don’t like being the weakest in the room. I was a professional ballerina when I was younger. I know how to make myself push just a little harder. I lean in, breathe deep, [...]
I spent a few hours today doing a Rewiring for Empowerment exercise. It’s very similar to the Reframing the Past exercise I teach in Joyful Heart Training. I’m in stretchy growth right now. It is good growth. But, just like a seed must crack through its outer shell in order to grow, I discovered that to move forward into my deepest desires I needed to crack through some things too. I was explaining to a friend what surfaced. She was in my life at the time of the original trauma some 30 years ago. She was worried about the emotional [...]
How to Believe When You Are Triggered By Your Past by Ann Ferguson “When there is a choice, I choose to believe.” Leslie Householder’s voice was in my mind. “What kind of doctor ordered your MRI for today?” the lady behind the registration desk asked. My doctor is a naturopath. Oh no, I thought, not this, not now… “What do you mean, what kind of doctor?” I answered. “He’s the same kind of doctor he was when he ordered my MRI a year and a half ago. Why? Is there a problem?” “Just a moment, I need to check on something,” [...]
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